In a world of Swords and Sorcery, Bram Thunderfist, Greatest Swordsman for hire this side of the Eonies Ocean, is sitting in a tavern... drinking... a lot. His exploits are world renowned, his appetite for adventure is beyond compare, and his ego is grander yet.
Follow Bram as he recounts his possibly true, but highly unlikely tales in season one of WANTED: Swordsman For Hire.
Written by Nathan Tucker

After deposing a king and making off with a ridiculous amount of gold, Bram is hired by a Gnomish Lord for a curious mission. Along the way, he discovers the eccentricities of Gnomish culture.  

(Content Notes: Partial Nudity, Brief Body Shaming, Salty Language, Slug Sex, Squishy Moist Sounds, Profound Arrogance, Disregard for the Cultural Norms of Others) 

Once again, Bram Thunderfist Swordsman Extraordinaire is facing an impossible situation. Will he get out alive? Will he get paid? Will he garner the affections of Toni???

Find Out in the kinda-relaxed-but-still-Bram-being-Bram recounting of the Epic conclusion to The Job with the Slugs, the Hourglass, and the Misplaced Nipple Ring!!!

(Content Notes: Salty Language, Mentions of Slug Sex, Alcohol Consumption, Sounds of Alcohol Consumption, Bad Party Crashing, Massive Ego, A Thrilling Trailer for the Next Episode, Bram's Email Address)

Bram joins his old friend Katrinka on a journey up and around a very, very, very, large tree. It's dragon killing time, and only one as supremely amazing as Bram could hope to pull it off. 

You know how it is.

(Content notes: Fantasy Violence, Gory Sound FX, Sexual Innuendo, Mildly Salty Language, Alcohol Use) 

Bram figures everyone has jumped out of an extremely tall tree at least once, but if you really want to hear how he got down, here it is. 

(Content notes: Extreme Athletic Prowess, Belching, Alcohol Use)

Bram Thunderfist tells of his tale to bring down... Count Whatshisname! In an epic adventure of blood, death, and alcohol, he tells of his epicness in the only epic manner he epically knows how. 

You know how it is. 


(Content Notes: Fantasy Violence, Gory Sound FX, Alcohol Use)

Apparently,  some people don't understand how Bram could have extricated himself from the Keep of Somethingorother and Count Whatshisname. Well, Bram is about to tell you.

(Content Notes: Fantasy Violence, Belching, Alcohol Use)

Bram's Fan Mail

Being a renouned swordsman known throughout the realms, Bram Thunderfist is hounded by the magical missives through the Greyovian Mail Delivery Service. Never one to disappoint fans, Bram endeavors to answer each and every one... in his own unique way. 


You know how it is. 


(If you would like to ask Bram a question, contact him at bramthunderfist@gmail.com)